Gone, baby gone...

Well, just like that my baby boy is not my baby anymore. Today was his first day of kindergarten. I almost can't even spit that out, I feel like I am talking about someone else. Where did 5, almost 6 years go in such a short time? I choked back tears and sobs all morning from the moment T woke me up all dressed and ready to go to school. He had an excitement about him all morning right up through the time we dropped him off. I knew he would be fine when on the way he made me promise not to walk him in, he could do it all by himself. Ok, so I crossed my fingers on that promise, how could I not walk him into his classroom, worse how could he not need me to walk him in there anymore? I feel this will be the first of many "drop me off around the corner mom, don't hug me in front of my friends mom". I hope they don't all rip my heart out like this morning. I am so glad he didn't freak out, but maybe he could have at least humored me by pretending he still needs me a little.

So a little embarassing standing outside his class waiting, feeling like I am dropping him off and never picking him up again, but I was begging to go in with him. He kept telling me no, he could do it. I know HE could do it, but I couldn't do it. So, after he made his way in, I snuck it behind and watched him walk over to his cubby to put his backpack away, find his nametag and take his seat. I didn't feel so bad when I backed up and ran into daddy, who also apparently didn't make any promises and snuck in with me. B also went in, I think hoping she could stay with her "brudder" in there. She moped all the way home missing him. It was weird, I missed him so much too.

You could definitely tell who the kindergartners parents were, they had the video cameras following their every footstep. I really like T's teacher when I met her the other night, I felt like she was a warm person. He gave her a high 5 and colored her a pic and then for the next 2 days is all he has talked about.


I know this is many one of many rites of passage for him, but this was a hard one to swallow. He is my first baby and I love that boy for all of his traits that are his and his alone. I know he will do well in school, but can't he just pretend I am still a player in the game and not on the sidelines already? T, be your own person always, be a good person and friend. I love you buddy!

T and his buddy K, so glad to be in the same school with him.